..Ah, Military Intelligence...

...that, and many other oxymorons are now housed here, the center of Oxymoron research, also known as the Department of Homeland Security. Seems that department ain't so secure after all. That's right, kiddies, the part of the government that is supposed to keep us safe, is experiencing "inadequate training, failed security tests and slow or confused reactions to bomb and biological threats.

For instance, when an envelope with suspicious powder was opened last fall at Homeland Security Department headquarters, guards said they watched in amazement as superiors carried it by the office of Secretary Michael Chertoff, took it outside and then shook it outside Chertoff's window without evacuating people nearby."

And security officers are speaking out: ""I had never previously been given training ... describing how to respond to a possible chemical attack," One guard told the press. "I wouldn't feel safe nowhere on this compound as an officer." So, which comes first. Security training, or Grammar lessons.

THESE ARE THE PEOPLE KEEPING US SAFE!!! Perhaps if the powers that be spent less time using the brain in their pants, they'd start using their other...oh, sorry, they have no other brain. Let me restate: Perhaps if the powers that be had a brain other than the one in their pants, they wouldn't be hiring security guards like these!

(Interestingly enough, this article seems to have disappeared from the news site I took it from while I was posting this. HMMM?)