Monday, October 17, 2005

…it is about to happen, again…

When you were younger, did you ever see The Attack of the Killer Tomato’s? Scared the poop right out of you, didn’t it. Giant tomato’s rolling down the street, crushing and eating people. How Awful. And then you realize, oh yeah, its only a movie. And you felt safe.

Well, did you ever wonder where they came up with the idea for that movie??

Can I tell you a secret?

For untold eons, there has bee a sect of creatures trying to take over our world, and remove humanity from the earth, in its Entirety! For one short span of time, roughly a month, these creates are active and animate in our spectrum, and slowly, quietly, they close in on us.

They have the ability to infiltrate our minds. They choose certain individuals who are much more susceptible to mind control, and make those individuals their agents. The controlled person has no idea that they are being controlled. The amazing part is, they act perfectly normal, and thus no one else notices the subtle mind control. Everything seems natural. HOWEVER, these subjects, these victims, assist our enemy. They are forced to transport these creatures into our midst. You have probably already noticed them. By this time, they are popping up on doorsteps everywhere. But there method of disguise is so brilliant, you just think they are a decoration.

There exist many folktales in our society about these yearly invasions. However, every time someone tries to explain to the world what is happening, their stories turn to myths, children’s fairy tales. I myself right now am fighting off the invasion of my mind, fighting off the control as the creatures urge me to write something other than the truth. Thus, the only way I can get this urgent message out there is to talk AROUND the subject.

You must try to defend your homes against these vicious creatures. If you see one near your home, act fast. There are ways to destroy them, which you can also utilize in order to keep others away at the same time. Take a large knife, and cut open the top of the creature. Open it up and Gut it. Get it all out. If you leave one shred of its guts inside, it can regenerate, and then it will be PISSED. Once you have fully disemboweled the creature, your safest bet is to desecrate its body, carve a message of warning into its flesh, and place it back where you found it. This will act as a warning to others of its kind to stay away. Be careful to make a good scary warning, however, or you may find these creatures have destroyed the carcass of their brothers in rage, and you too will be a target. Illuminate this warning, so it is visible at night. Keep yourself safe.

We also have organized small covert teams to seek out these creatures, and smash them to the ground, killing them on contact. Of course, some of them do grow back and seek revenge. Thus we simply pin the blame on local youths, and let them deal with the consequences. What do you expect us to do?
Act now, people, before it is too late! The time is now. These creatures don’t have much time left before the window closes, and they know it! They are working quickly. We must work even quicker. Get your knives out people, there isn’t much time!!!!

Here is what to watch out for!

An example of how you too can protect your home!

View the Horrors of what can happen to you, if you don't protect yourself!!


At 1:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hobbs von Wackamole


first flying spaghetti Monsters now pumpkins!!!!!

Please Hobbs Von Wackamole tells what you are going to do??


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