Friday, October 14, 2005

Bush Selects New Supreme Court Nominee, Discards Miers!!!!

This just in. Thank the Good Lord that Bush is a God Fearing Sucker!! Harriet Miers’ secret revealed…….

After much investigation into Ms. Miers’ mysterious past by Left Wing Public Interest Groups as well as the few Republicans who actually have brains (yes folks, there are a few), the Truth has Finally come out. And yes, Salvation and Hobbs is the first place to let the world know the Truth, and probably the only place, as the Bush administration are masters at the Cover Up.

Harriet Miers is, in fact, a Demon.
I’m not going to go into the many details discovered in the investigations to prove this point. I’ll let your eyes be the judge. Compare these two pictures below. One is a recent picture of Ms. Miers, doctored by the BushCorp’s executive illusion department. The other is a True to life picture of Ms. Miers, taken about 20 years ago at her High School Reunion.

Do you not see the resemblance?? Can you not see that this is in fact the same perso-I Mean-Demon???
(you may notice that this face looks familiar. Despite the cover up, it was discovered that Ms. Miers did in fact have a brief career in Hollywood, making a short but impactful debut in the Tom Cruise fantasy film Legend. No special effects or makeup were needed, which was why she got the job!).

We will have more reports on the effects of this secret revealed in columns to come. The Pope at this time Declined comment, but Pat Robertson, when asked his feelings on the subject, turned pale white in the face, choked a bit, uttered the words “the reason I stopped drinking and screwing around….I never imagined she’d….” and abruptly passed out. Salvation and Hobbs sent a special fact finding team to investigate Ms Miers and hopefully get an interview with her. They were last spotted approaching entering the door to her home. They have not been seen since…
Moving on, in conjunction with this horrific secret revealed, we have been informed that George Bush, in an effort to both move on from the Miers conspiracy and dissuade the belief that he is guilty of Cronyism, has made a new Nomination for the Supreme Court Justice slot. And that nominee is, in fact, none other than movie star, singer, super hero, and children’s idol, the one and only Pootie Tang (shown here in all his Glory)!

When asked to comment on the truth of this story, Pootie had only this to say:
“Da Neno, my Brotha. It’s a Col Toney. I dun signed Bush’s piddy on tha runny kin. Sa Da Tey.”

The Bush administration refused to comment at this time. However Bush was reportedly overheard saying ‘That Pootie is a real good American sorta fellow. I bet we’ll get that Negroid vote now. And if I can only get that belt from him, we can truly control the Supreme…HEY! Hey you. Stop writing this down. HEY! Where are you going? Get him boys!!” The name or Hospital room for this source will not be revealed for their protection.

It has also been reported that should the parties concerned reject Pootie for the Supreme Court, Bush will be nominating the guy from the convenience store that sells him Slim Jims.
Stay tuned for the Hobbs von Wackamole exclusive interview with Pootie Tang, coming soon.


At 1:23 PM, Blogger Captain Flak Paperpants said...


At 9:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hobbs von Wackamole,

who will protect us from the evil monster?

Concerned citizen

At 1:38 PM, Blogger RandomSynapticMuses said...

Yes, I do see the resemblance!


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