Monday, November 28, 2005

What is with you God Fearing folk....


...and Crying Statues??? Why the hell do you feel the need to find the image of Christ on a moist towelette, a potato chip, a squash, or a lump of coal? And then you get excited about it? Shit, if a statue in my yard started crying blood, I'd be more worried than exited. But not you. No, you flock to it and think its a good sign. Hey Assholes, when is crying a good sign? And more specifically, when is Crying Blood something to get Excited about? I'll just never understand you.

What the hell am I talking about?

SACRAMENTO, Calif. - Carrying rosary beads and cameras, the faithful have been coming in a steady stream to a church on the outskirts of Sacramento for a glimpse of what some are calling a miracle: A statue of the Virgin Mary they say has begun crying a substance that looks like blood. Either that, or she ate a hell of a lot of beets.

It was first noticed more than a week ago, when a priest at the Vietnamese Catholic Martyrs Church spotted a stain on the statue's face and wiped it away. Before Mass on Nov. 20, people again noticed a reddish substance near the eyes of the white concrete statue outside the small church, said Ky Truong, 56, a parishioner.

Since then, Truong said he has been at the church day and night, so emotional he can't even work. He believes the tears are a sign. Can I get outta my job for this too?

"There's a big event in the future _ earthquake, flood, a disease," Truong said. "We're very sad." How he gets this idea from some bloody tears is beyond us.

On Saturday, tables in front of the fenced-in statue were jammed with potted plants, bouquets of roses and candles. The statue was heard sneezing, and they were promptly taken away. Some people prayed silently, while others sang hymns and hugged their children. An elderly woman in a wheelchair wept near the front of the crowd. And odd looking old man stood on the sidelines waving his middle finger at the crowd and cackling wildly.

A red trail could be seen from the side of the statue's left eye to about halfway down the robe of concrete, and none of these lazy worshippers have cleaned it up.

"I think that it's incredible. It's a miracle. Why is she doing it? Is it something bothering her?" asked Maria Vasquez, 35, who drove with her parents and three children from Stockton, about 50 miles south of Sacramento. Yes, Maria. Something is bothering her. It's YOU.

Thousands of such incidents are reported around the world each year, though many turn out to be hoaxes or natural phenomena. The Diocese of Sacramento has so far not commented on the statue, and the two priests affiliated with the church did not return a telephone message Saturday. It is believed that they were too busy worshipping sculpted images. God could not be reached for comment either, but rumor has it that he is pissed!

The Rev. James Murphy, deacon of the diocese's mother church, the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament, said church leaders are always skeptical at first. "For people individually seeing things through the eyes of faith, something like this can be meaningful. As for whether it is supernatural or a miracle, normally these incidences are not. Sometimes its just Rust. Miracles are possible, of course," Murphy said. "The bishop is just waiting and seeing what happens. They will be moving very slowly." Real shocker there!

But seeing the statue in person left no doubt for Martin Operario, 60, who drove about 100 miles from Hayward. He took photos to show to family and friends. "I don't know how to express what I'm feeling," Operario said. "Since religion is the mother of believing, then I believe." What is the Father of believing, gullability?

Nuns Anna Bui and Rosa Hoang, members of the Salesian Sisters of San Francisco, also made the trek Saturday. Whether the weeping statue is declared a miracle or not, they said, it is already doing good by awakening people to the faith and reminding them to pray. "It's a call for us to change ourselves, to love one another," Hoang said. Well, at least it's doing one thing right. Now hurry up and change!

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